Mignonette & Goose
by fearwill
Summary: 1/2 cup of French mercenary, 1/2 cup of police girl, a spoonful of fluff, a teaspon of romance, sprinkle with humor and you'll get...? A collection of PxS oneshots.
1. Nicknames

**Disclaimer:** Hellsing and its characters belong to none other than Kouta Hirano.

 **Author's Note:** This piece will be a collection of my PxS oneshots. See it as a complement to my other story, _Your Friendly Neighborhood Vampire._ I hope no one's offended with how I wrote Pip's accent (and do forgive me if they're incorrect). It's easier for me to hear his French accent if I write/read it. This one is short but I hope it's of satisfactory. Enjoy!

P.S Yes, the title of this story is actually a reference to Top Gun.

 **Revamped:** 11/01/16

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Nicknames**

* * *

"I hope you know that my name is actually Seras Victoria."

It was what she said one night as they, by mishap, got stuck together because of a real bad storm and had to huddle under an awning in a dense jungle, separated from the rest of the crew.

What prompted her to say that, you might ask? Well…

It started from the first week of the Wild Geese's stay. They were a raucous bunch, foulmouthed and vulgar, but good people at the core. Most of them were nice, even seeing her like the little sister they never had. She even earned some of their respect after her show of prowess. But that didn't mean everything went smoothly. She still had troubles dealing with them at times but truly, the most frustrating would be the Captain.

Captain Pip Bernadotte. Frenchman. Leader. Jokester. He were many things. The Geese respected him very much and held him in high regard. He was daring, brazen, witty… and liked to call her weird nicknames.

First time they trained together, he called her _Supergirl_. She could see where he came up with _that_ one. Afterwards it changed periodically from _Mignonette_ to _Girlie_ and back again. Sometimes he even threw in a couple of _Batgirls_ for fun.

But as they grew closer, the nicknames grew more creative, and more baffling.

"Ah! _Mon petite canard_! I need more targets for zee Geese!"

"Not bad, _Ma cherie_."

"Wow. Even zee Boss and Big Red can get into real fights, eh, _Ma bichette_?"

" _Choupinette,_ you 'aven't seen nothing yet."

They always changed. Each week it seemed as if he got new words to call her, always in French, and refused to call her by her name, which brought them to the problem at hand.

Pip lit up his cigarette before turning to look at her. "Eh? I knew that, _Ma petite_."

"Then why did you never use it?" Seras tried not to show the hurt in her voice but she might be failing miserably. His nicknames were pleasant to hear and she knew they were never bad things. But her master had rejected her name from the beginning and insisted on calling her Police Girl, Walter called her Miss Victoria and it sounded so _formal_ , and Sir Integra rarely called her anything at all.

She just wanted someone to call her by her name for God's sake!

Pip took a drag of his cigarette before blowing out smoke from his lips. "I do call you by your name."

"Once in a blue moon," Seras muttered, squatting down to gaze at the rain. "Why can't people just call me by my bloody name? It's just Seras. What's so hard about it?" She muttered quietly but Pip heard them all the same.

Pip seemed to mull this over and took another drag before exhaling, letting the smoke swirled into the air. The silence stretched, only the sound of the rain, thunder and Pip's breathing could be heard. It wasn't until the rain had slightly abated that he spoke again.

"I'll call you Seras if you call me Pip."

His request made her look up in surprise. He wasn't looking at her. His eye was trained on somewhere beyond their awning, a new cigarette between his lips.

She could only let out a dumbfounded, "What?"

"You 'eard me."

Seras sputtered but Pip turned and gave her a solemn look. He never looked as serious as he did right now.

Finally, she relented and sighed. "Alright… Pip."

His serious look quickly turned into a big grin. "See? Not so 'ard, right? Now, let's get out of 'ere before the storm strikes again," Pip pushed his hat tighter against his head and put out his cigarette before offering her a hand. She blinked owlishly at the appendage and gazed into his teal eye. "You coming with me, Seras?"

Hearing her name from his lips, combined with the French accent, made something in her chest flutter. Funny. She thought her heart had stopped beating.

Seras exhaled, feeling joy blooming inside her, and gripped his hand with a smile.

 **-OMAKE-**

"What if you don't call me Seras?"

"What do you mean, _Mignonette_?"

"That! Like that! What if you called me with those nicknames?"

"Eh? Don't you like zee nicknames?"

"Pip!"

"I'm just kidding!"

"…Hmph."

"Okay, okay… Give me a nickname also."

"Give you—?"

" _Oui_. Call me anything you like."

"Anything…?"

" _Oui_."

"Alright then. How about… _Papa Goose_?"

The sound of someone choking on a cigarette could be heard from miles away.

* * *

 **End Note:** I love these two. They're just so adorable! It's a shame they didn't get much exposure in the OVA. But anyway, I hope you'll give this humble servant of yours some reviews? -puppy eyes-


	2. Halloween

**Disclaimer:** Hellsing and its characters belong to none other than Kouta Hirano.

 **Author's Note:** I wanted to post this on Halloween but I was so busy that I forgot! Ugh. Epic fail. But at least this year's Halloween was pretty fun. Anyway, it's a week late but I do hope it still counts. Enjoy.

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Halloween**

* * *

The parade was a rave. Everywhere Pip looked, everyone was in costumes holding a drink and having a great time. He wasn't sure what kind of luck he got himself into to be able to go to a party like this on a working night. But it seemed that The Boss was in a good mood and since there was no vampire attack reports—at least, none for now—she deemed it reasonable to give them a long overdue break.

Suddenly someone in a pink bunny suit got their arm slung over his shoulders and dragged him into a group of raucous men in even more ridiculous costumes.

"Ey, Captain! What're you doin' standin' alone like that?" Jack, the one who dragged him away, said with his arms slung across his shoulders. "Come drink with us!"

Another one, wearing a mobster costume, nodded in agreement. "Yeah, Cap. Been a while since we get to see the world beyond that manor's wall."

"Jesus, I even forgot what bad beer tastes like!"

"We oughtta have fun. It's Hallow's Eve after all."

Pip shook his head at their antics and grabbed a cigarette instead. "You go and 'ave fun, ladies. I'm going smoking for a while."

"Aw, you no fun, Captain."

"Yeah! Come on!"

"This must be because Miss Victoria isn't here with us."

The last one, unfortunately, was true. Pip was quite disheartened to know that Seras had a job to do and couldn't come with them. He had been expecting to unwind with her, dance a little, and maybe if he was lucky, steal a kiss.

Ah, no use thinking about it.

"Shaddup," Pip said while lighting his cigarette before grinning at his men. "You better take your sweet time with zee girls before I 'ave your asses back at 'ellsing."

Some of his men pretended to be scared while the rest laughed but they did move away in the end. William, the one in a pirate costume, shouted back, "Ya better not smile too much, Captain! Ya look a bit mad with that costume!"

" _Casse-toi_!"

They laughed again and disappeared into the throngs of people. Pip leaned against the wall and took a drag of his cigarette. He roamed his eyes around the area. There was a lot of things to do, girls to talk with, drinks to drink, and somehow he decided to stay here. Alone. Some girls even approached him for dancing and a couple of drinks but he just shook his head with a smile, not feeling the festive vibe at all.

Damn. He waited this break for ages, even begging Sir Integra for it, and he couldn't even enjoy himself now that he got it.

"As far as I know, the Mad Hatter is _not_ French."

Pip started at the familiar voice and whirled around to face… " _Mignonette_?"

There the draculina stood in a blue dress with a white pinafore apron, complete with a pair of white stockings and black Mary Jane's shoes. On top of her blonde head was a beautiful blue hair bow and she looked so… _cute_.

Seras grinned sheepishly. "Hi, Captain."

Pip had to close his mouth to prevent his cigarette from falling and tried to gather his thoughts. "W-what are you doing 'ere? Don't you 'ave work to do?"

"Er, that's actually a ploy. Sir Integra needed help with her costume and—"

"Wait, wait. Sir Integra? _Zee Boss_?"

"Yes. That's what I _said_. Pay attention next—"

"In a _costume_?"

Pip knew his voice had reached a pretty high note and that Seras was looking at him like he'd gone mad but he honestly couldn't digest her words properly.

Instead of answering, she pointed to somewhere behind him. Pip turned and his jaw dropped.

Not far from them, a woman stood in a long black dress that hugged her figure nicely with midnight tresses flowing behind her. Her skin was ghostly pale, her lips as red as blood, and she'd be unfamiliar if her eyes weren't those familiar piercing blue.

" _Morticia…_?"

But not just that, standing next to her was a tall and imposing man with a moustache and stripes suits and pants, hair slicked back and…

Realization struck quickly. " _GOMEZ_?"

This whole night had turned batshit crazy in one second.

 _'_ Gomez _'_ grinned widely, showing rows of pointed teeth and said, "It seems the Mad Hatter is truly mad after all. Poor Alice. Your Wonderland may not exist."

"Master!" Seras huffed.

'Morticia' gave the man next to her a stern look. "Enough, Alucard. This is a time of festive. Leave your fledging be."

"As you wish," Alucard bowed, a wider grin on his face. " _Cara mia_."

If her usual suits and pants made her look intimidating, this outfit made her positively predatory and vicious. Her glare even seemed to be ten times more potent.

Integra finally just rolled her eyes at the vampire's antics and turned to look at Pip and Seras, giving them a gentler look. "Enjoy the parade. But be back before sunrise."

Both Pip and Seras stood straighter. "Understood." They said in unison.

The older woman gave them a nod before turning back around to accept Alucard's proffered arm. Both Captain and Fledging watched the duo go before looking at each other and burst out laughing.

Pip recovered first, wiping a tear from his eye. "Zis is crazy. Ridiculous."

Seras giggled. "I know, Captain. I was there when they choose the costume."

"You 'ave such an exciting day, _mignonette_ ," Pip shook his head. "I can't believe Boss would want to do a couple costume wiz Big Red."

"I can't believe Sir Integra would _want_ to go to a parade."

"Ah, girlie. Even zee Boss is still human… and a woman. She'd want to 'ave some fun once in a while."

"I guess."

Pip put out his cigarette. "S'enough of zat two." He leaned closer to Seras, trapping her with his eye and smirked. " _Alice_ , eh?"

Seras managed to blush a little at that. "It seems Master knew who you're going as and ordered me to wear this," she pulled at the skirt.

"I don't know if I should feel 'appy or what," he exhaled. "But I'll take what I can get. So, what do you say, Alice?"

"Huh? Say to what?"

He took off his hat and put it against his chest before offering her a hand. "Will you go with zis Mad 'Atter down the 'ole into the amazing Wonderland?" He asked, smiling boyishly and winking his eye.

Seras blinked in surprise but her lips curled up as she accepted his hand.

* * *

 **End Note:** I can't wait to have a family of my own and dress them up as the Addam's Family for Halloween. I can already see us terrorizing the neighborhood. It'll be awesome.


	3. Bus Ride

**Disclaimer:** Hellsing and its characters belong to none other than Kouta Hirano.

 **Author's Note:** Wishing more people would write fanfics about these two. Anyway, this is a bit of an AU. I found the prompt somewhere on Tumblr and decided to use it. Apologies for grammatical errors and misspellings.

* * *

 **Chapter 3: Bus Ride  
**

* * *

It was snowing and cold and all Seras wanted was for the bus to just come so that she could go home back to her warm bed. But _no_ , the bus just had to be late.

She tried to warm herself up by rubbing her arms and hands but to no avail. Glancing to her right, she found a couple of people standing waiting for the bus too. There was a middle-aged woman with a shocking pink jacket and groceries in hand, a businessman in a dark coat and a suitcase, and a man with the longest braid she'd ever seen with a cigarette between his lips. Seras was glad she didn't have to wait for the bus alone in this weather.

Seras perked when she heard the huff of the bus and groaned when she saw how packed it was. She was resigned to the fact that she might end up standing all the way home.

The four of them boarded the bus, searching left and right for empty seats. The woman and businessman found theirs quick while Seras had to go further to the back of the bus to find an empty seat. She hurriedly dashed towards it, only for someone to bump into her. "Hey!"

She looked up to find a pair of teal eyes and the familiar long braid. It was the man with the cigarette earlier. "Sorry, you want zis seat?" He pointed.

Seras was too surprised at the thick French accent that it took her a while to find the right response. "Ah, not really. You can have it if you want." She said, gesturing towards the seat, which the man replied with a shake of his head.

" _Non_ , you should 'ave it."

"No, no, it's yours. You got here first."

"Ridiculous. It was me who bumped into you, zerefore you were 'ere first."

Seras frowned, somehow feeling annoyance creeping up her spine "No, you should sit there."

" _Mademoiselle,_ you are a woman. You should sit."

"A woman?"

The man cocked his head. "You are, are you not?"

"Of course I am! But what does that have anything to do with this?"

"Well, women are much frailer zan men, zerefore you should sit," he answered plainly. Seras was gaping at him now but he didn't seem to think that what he said was wrong.

"What are you—? Are you saying that I'm weaker because I'm a woman? Is that it?"

" _Quoi_?"

"You said women are weaker than men! Are you saying that I'm not strong enough to stand on my own two feet for a measly bus ride?"

" _Non_?" At Seras' skeptical look, he denied it again. "I did not mean it like zat!"

"It sure did sound like that."

" _Non, non, non,_ you got it all wrong," the man tried to placate. "I meant zat I am a man and we are more durable!"

"It's the same thing!"

"It is not!"

"It is too!"

The both of them continued, not realizing that they had attracted the attention of the other passengers. The man gritted his teeth and threw up his arm. "Just take zee damn seat, woman!"

"Excuse me," a frail whisper slipped past the pair and both of them looked down to see an old woman sitting down on said empty seat.

They stared at the oblivious old lady before looking at each other and burst out laughing. Seras tried to cover her giggles with a hand and glanced at the man, seeing him wiping tears from his eyes. He looked at her then, lips curling into a boyish smile. There was something familiar about him even though she was sure she'd never seen this man before.

Suddenly he offered his hand, saying, "I'm Pip."

She stared at the appendage and slowly took it. "Seras. Seras Victoria."

Both of them held each other's hand a bit longer than necessary before quickly letting go, feeling warmth creeping on both their cheeks. An awkward silence descended upon them and Seras fidgeted again.

Pip rubbed the back of his neck and cleared his throat. "Want to get coffee on zee next stop? I know a good place." He offered and she looked at him with wide eyes. "Zat is, if you don't 'ave anywhere else to be."

Seras smiled and didn't have to think twice as she said yes.

* * *

 **End Note:** I'm not really satisfied with how this turned out so I'd probably edit it in the future. Also, if you have any ideas/prompts you want me to write, please do review/pm me. Thank you!


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